6 June 2011

Of Allardyce & Men

Allardyce stood near the pitch,
shouting at a man in shorts.
'Oof it up there!'
the fat man choked,
before stuffing another stick of gum
into his gaping maw.
Allardyce, 54, prepared his substitutes.
'Who shall we bring on?'
uttered his burnt assistant (Lee),
'Okocha? Djorkaeff? Anelka?'
'No', vomited the former Bolton manager.
'Bring on Diouf.
Three of him.
And tell him to punch that ponce
doing all the tricks and that.'
Slug Allardyce's eyes rolled back into his head
as he gurgled and drooled.
They won from a set piece.

King of the Jungle

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