Showing posts with label Liverpool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Liverpool. Show all posts

5 August 2011

Kindergarden Kop


The fans were in agreement,
Not a dissenter could be found.
The reds were on the rise again:
Kenny was turning it around.

As for old Roy Hodgson,
The poor guy couldn’t stay.
Even if results went well
They wouldn’t like him anyway.

When Kenny surveyed his team
He saw the source of their travails:
“Forget bolstering the defence,
We need a ponytail!”

So Kenny blew his fiscal wad
Upon young Andy Carroll;
With Spearing’s flair behind him,
It just had to create peril.

“But this midfield it will not do,”
Mused Kenny in a state of prophetic bliss.
So in came Jordan Henderson.
Kenny was taking the micky.

And Gerrard, Cole, Rodriguez,
Downing, Leiva too,
Kuyt, Poulsen, and Charlie Adam.
What was Dalglish to do?

As for Raul Meireles,
Kenny couldn’t care less.
They'll probably finish fifth. 


Pray for forgiveness

27 June 2011

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Football (But Were Afraid To Ask)

What would Woody Allen have to say about Europe's finest? Let's speculate:


"They signed Jordan Henderson for how much!?"

 'Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.' – Chelsea

'I do believe that this is truly the best of all possible worlds. Well, it's certainly the most expensive.' – Manchester City

'What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.' – Real Madrid

'I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.' – Juventus

'Eternal nothingness is O.K. if you're dressed for it.' – Arsenal

'I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.' – Liverpool

'I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish.' – Ajax

'Don’t knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.' – Barcelona

'How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can opener works!' – Atletico Madrid

'I'll go to your room, but you'll have to seduce me.' – Inter Milan